For the past half a year, me, isolated, living in my head, all to gradually recover. And recover i did.

I'm really terrible at puzzles- saw through tons of giving up, and breaking down yet again.
But I finally managed to piece it all together, yup, with these very hands that shattered them.
Can you understand my fear? There's a precarious balance I'm maintaining, an equilibrium I cannot afford to lose, because i know in myself i hold the very weapon that can tip the scales again.
Imagine the pain, of growing 10 years, all the ups and downs condensed into a six-month long whirling superstorm,  honestly i don't even wanna think about it, even in hindsight, because it's literally a frozen hell.

The first breath I took again, it feels like the moment your head breaks the water after maneuvering through a waterlogged series of caves and tunnels, that gasp tasting the sweet, sweet air, knowing you're not going to drown, that you'll get to see another beautiful day. That feeling is.. pure euphoria.
I rode on it for a week or two, that brain that started to have thoughts again, revelations, inspiration came pouring in from all sides, in a torrent I happily got engulfed in(albeit a little fearfully too).

So for the past two months, I daringly established a routine, one that I finally got the guts to confront. Because it was what led me into that abyss in the first place. I started taking really small steps, and with some help I was on my happy way back up.

You. Threw this peaceful equilibrium into utter chaos. And I am confused. So confused because I simply do not mind at all.
I have asked myself a billion times what is going on. How I got dragged along with you, and by the time I realized it, I am somewhere that I'll have trouble getting back to my original state again..

What should i do? :/