Perhaps you will be the right person, in the near future
I want you to be the one, but i will have to leave before you become that person, if i have to let go knowing what i will miss out on, can you blame me for selfishly holding on?
No matter how much pain it causes, how many tears shed, how many sleepless nights, lost and listless afternoons, remembering all the time spent together and knowing you had the whole world made it worth it.. yes, i put my whole world in and even the blind knows i did.
is it healthy? no.
but what is a short period of suffering compared to having a long life ahead together with you, like you told me. always, you tell me what to do and give and give more.
but now, suddenly when I can't see the road ahead, when i reach my hand out to grasp on to something, I found air, and empty void, matterless and dark.
I realized I am alone. I realized I always denied it to myself, but there is nothing here. There was a need, and when the need was fulfilled, it evaporated together with all the visions, like a mirage in the desert. that oasis I saw was just an illusion, all the stumbling across the scorching, burning terrain alone, only to find out I have been blinded.
I knew all this somehow, knewit from the start.
but I saw a glimmer of hope. and the glimmer is slowly fading, suffocating and almost dying out.
I made a choice. I do not regret it, but I will if i continue ahead knowing what lies ahead is nothing but more pain and sorrow.
it's true, I dont know what is love, but i know what i do not want, that's for sure.