When it becomes a health issue
17:01Cold sweats, chills and shaking uncontrollably, racing thoughts, insomnia(sometimes through entire night), difficulty staying asleep, obsessive behavior(repeatedly checking again and again), weight loss(not too much yet), digestive problems, one positively identifiable panic attack(almost fainted), cold sweating and shaking hands and feet, tight, uncomfortable feeling in chest the entire time, crying 3-5times a day, muscle tension and pain, loss of appetite and extreme stress.
Anxiety. That's the diagnosis.
Though why did I finally google it after almost a month of it happening I don't know. Used to be a few days a week, now it's every.single.day. And boy it feels like I am killing myself from the inside.
Now ask yourself;
is the relationship worth saving once actual manifestations of the issues pop up? On my health?
I could try it out for a week more now I know what is happening to my body.
I am not strong enough, it all boils down to my mind. Not that anyone can take this, but I'm disappointed that my mind caved in to this. You, I can finally blame you for something. You eradicated the trust I had, you fucking disrespected me, cast me aside, dismissed my love with a flick of your hand, with another one of your ever-changing reasons, you made me walk on eggshells all day, you made my flight or fight response trigger turn on for the entire freaking day.
And now I got to fix myself. Find a distraction.
Thank you for making me realize what is the issue with me now, I have never felt this way in my entire life, such a shame.
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