the girl and the sun
15:42There was once a girl.
Wild and carefree. she wanted for nothing.
All she wished to do was run around the fields and lie in the tall grass, among the stars, daydreaming the world away. She was thrown into the wild in the past, and having learnt to explore some parts of the world alone, she was eagerly awaiting the next adventure.
One day, she came to a new place, and decided to rest for a little bit.
That very day, she met the sun.
The sun was warm. and when the sun smiled, it was the brightest thing she ever saw.
So she decided to stay for awhile,
It hurt being so near to the sun, she always got burnt no matter how careful she was. But the sun taught her to turn her tears into flowers, and slowly, the flowers turned into gardens and they were the most beautiful she has ever seen.
She then started to built a beautiful castle for them to live in. The sun designed it, guided her, and she toiled at it, brick by brick, day by day. Sometimes a part of the castle would fall, and crush her a little, but the sun gave her strength and was always there for her. Because of this, she could build it back up, and gradually her bones got stronger.
The Sun shared many things, and told her of a perfect world it saw, of the perfect Sun. The Sun described so many wonderful places it could see, the girl was left in absolute wonder and excitement. They spent every day together, painted the castle walls together, in bright, vibrant colors, they laughed together and they dreamt together. And slowly just like that, one day the girl realized that a small fire had ignited inside her.
That same day, she decided, this would be her home. and she would explore this world the sun told her of, going to wherever it shines, she wanted to be there together with the sun.
So time passed, the fire within her grew.
And the world was perfect.
One day, the sun saw another world from afar, another garden, another castle, it told the girl that that place looked ten times more magnificent than what was here.
At the same time, a shadow passed over her world. The castle started to lose its color, and the flowers in her gardens started to wither.
The girl did not panic too much. She held on to the fire in her, She told herself it was fine, she trusted the sun would make the shadow go away once it was finished with what it was occupied with, So she worked doubly hard. She broke some bones trying to hold the pillars up, she patched all the holes by herself, the fire threatened to go out in the wind that seemed to be getting stronger each day, but she could still breathe and she told herself all was still fine.
Then, all of a sudden, the sun left.
Everything became black. The world stopped spinning.
And a thunderstorm she had never seen before came crashing in with much ferocity.
The girl had no lights except for what's left of her fire, and that was already waning small.
In the darkness, the girl couldn't see the castle, but she could hear it toppling into ruin, the rains washing everything away.
The hurricane ripped at everything.
So the girl ran from the place in fright.
Branches tore at her, cutting open new wounds every time she realized how much the sun lied or hid the truths from her. She saw many ugly things, and realized some things she once thought was real were only an illusion. A trick of the light.
She didn't know exactly when, but when she looked, the fire within her had extinguished.
She was left stumbling through the dark, Howling, screaming, she has never felt this way before.
Her tears and blood and pain melted into each other. Suffocating her, threatening to consume her completely.
..
Suddenly, in that mess, she thought she saw the sun.. coming back to her. It wanted to hold her again, and she ran, ran towards it like it was the last thing she would do.
But very quickly she realized it was a mirage at the edge of a cliff.
And she couldn't stop in time, so she fell down the cliff, right unto the rocks below.
That finally broke every last bone in her, the bones that she needed to build that beautiful castle again.
The tides came, and washed her into a cave, there she stayed, the waters surrounded her broken body, holding it together. Washing away the blood from her wounds, soothing the burns she got from all this time spent near the sun. She couldn't sleep from the pain, and the flashes of life with the bright, bright sun in her memories attacked her.
She wept in the dark.
A short while later, the sun returned. Looking for her. She couldn't look at it. She couldn't leave the cave.
The sun saw that the light was gone.
That very day, she met the sun.
The sun was warm. and when the sun smiled, it was the brightest thing she ever saw.
So she decided to stay for awhile,
It hurt being so near to the sun, she always got burnt no matter how careful she was. But the sun taught her to turn her tears into flowers, and slowly, the flowers turned into gardens and they were the most beautiful she has ever seen.
She then started to built a beautiful castle for them to live in. The sun designed it, guided her, and she toiled at it, brick by brick, day by day. Sometimes a part of the castle would fall, and crush her a little, but the sun gave her strength and was always there for her. Because of this, she could build it back up, and gradually her bones got stronger.
The Sun shared many things, and told her of a perfect world it saw, of the perfect Sun. The Sun described so many wonderful places it could see, the girl was left in absolute wonder and excitement. They spent every day together, painted the castle walls together, in bright, vibrant colors, they laughed together and they dreamt together. And slowly just like that, one day the girl realized that a small fire had ignited inside her.
That same day, she decided, this would be her home. and she would explore this world the sun told her of, going to wherever it shines, she wanted to be there together with the sun.
So time passed, the fire within her grew.
And the world was perfect.
One day, the sun saw another world from afar, another garden, another castle, it told the girl that that place looked ten times more magnificent than what was here.
At the same time, a shadow passed over her world. The castle started to lose its color, and the flowers in her gardens started to wither.
The girl did not panic too much. She held on to the fire in her, She told herself it was fine, she trusted the sun would make the shadow go away once it was finished with what it was occupied with, So she worked doubly hard. She broke some bones trying to hold the pillars up, she patched all the holes by herself, the fire threatened to go out in the wind that seemed to be getting stronger each day, but she could still breathe and she told herself all was still fine.
Then, all of a sudden, the sun left.
Everything became black. The world stopped spinning.
And a thunderstorm she had never seen before came crashing in with much ferocity.
The girl had no lights except for what's left of her fire, and that was already waning small.
In the darkness, the girl couldn't see the castle, but she could hear it toppling into ruin, the rains washing everything away.
The hurricane ripped at everything.
So the girl ran from the place in fright.
Branches tore at her, cutting open new wounds every time she realized how much the sun lied or hid the truths from her. She saw many ugly things, and realized some things she once thought was real were only an illusion. A trick of the light.
She didn't know exactly when, but when she looked, the fire within her had extinguished.
She was left stumbling through the dark, Howling, screaming, she has never felt this way before.
Her tears and blood and pain melted into each other. Suffocating her, threatening to consume her completely.
..
Suddenly, in that mess, she thought she saw the sun.. coming back to her. It wanted to hold her again, and she ran, ran towards it like it was the last thing she would do.
But very quickly she realized it was a mirage at the edge of a cliff.
And she couldn't stop in time, so she fell down the cliff, right unto the rocks below.
That finally broke every last bone in her, the bones that she needed to build that beautiful castle again.
The tides came, and washed her into a cave, there she stayed, the waters surrounded her broken body, holding it together. Washing away the blood from her wounds, soothing the burns she got from all this time spent near the sun. She couldn't sleep from the pain, and the flashes of life with the bright, bright sun in her memories attacked her.
She wept in the dark.
A short while later, the sun returned. Looking for her. She couldn't look at it. She couldn't leave the cave.
The sun saw that the light was gone.
It was very sorry for going away,
It told the girl, stand up. Lets go back now. Lets go back to the castle.
She told the sun. I can't.. My bones are shattered. The castle walls have fallen. The flowers are all dead.
The sun said, I'll take you back. I wont go away again. I don't want you to hurt anymore.
The girl recoiled at the familiar warmth, now a burning pain on the wounds that haven't started healing.
It hurts even more now to be near to the sun again, She does not fully recognize how it looks anymore. She feels like she finally opened her eyes and saw what the sun really looked like.
Then, maybe purely out of habit, she tried her best to stand up.
And every step she tried to take, the waters were resisting her movements. Don't go back, you'll get burnt again.
For the sun, this girl would do anything. but all that is in the past now.
She realized she couldn't stand up. Because her bones are broken. It will take time for her wounds to stop bleeding, for the warmth to not feel like burning fire. It will take time, for the strength to come back again, enough to walk back to the place, to clear the rubble, to rebuild the castle and its gardens.
She is not sure if the sun will leave again. And she is very afraid. She never, ever, ever wants to feel the way she did again.
The sun kept coming to her, and beseeched her to please start moving. So she started crawling even though it hurt so bad. Then, because it's light was too bright, it couldn't see the girl clearly. It thought the girl was all well and ready again, so it gave her an embrace it used to, with added strength taken from the prettier place he went to.
She started burning up immediately. Burning into an unrecognizable charred body. Her tears dried up. She couldn't cry anymore. Her brain was dazed. She couldn't remember anything anymore. Her heart stopped beating. She couldn't feel any emotions anymore.
It was the last straw. It came so swiftly no one saw it coming, neither the sun nor the girl.
She screamed for the sun to go away, it did not see how it was hurting her. It only saw it's own dazzling light, the girl realized that she wanted the sun to keep its promises, to really see her for once.
It was going to bring her back, back to that same place with all the illusions. She realized she did not want that again. It was all fake, it was never the real world.
She wanted the truth because she has nothing left, and she cannot stand another wound. She had no more strength to harbour any more pain.
She realized she needed to stay in the cave. And so she told the sun. Please, leave me here. Go fly, soar high. I cannot follow you because I will drag you down.
Then maybe one day, please come to look for me again when you are different. When you realize that you can see me. When you truly mean your words when you said forever and always.
When you know you truly want to be by my side.
I will stay here. I will not go anywhere.
But please, go far away, and let us meet again if the fates allow.
---
A few days elapsed.
The girl, thrown into complete darkness.
so many times, more than she could count, she wanted to scream for the sun to come back. She wanted to run to the sun, and beg for it to embrace her again, no matter how much it will hurt.
But this time it was different, something held her back, maybe it was the memory of the pain she went through, maybe it was the cave, all the darkness that suddenly felt comfortable compared to the scorching sun. Maybe she was remembering the sun had a better, happier palace to go to now. Maybe it was the fact that she realized things will never be the same again, that another scar has left a permanent mark on her.
She did not want any of this to happen, but she has no choice but to accept it now.
Maybe this is growing up, she thought.
In the darkness, she thought she saw a glowing light.
And the light was coming from her. For herself. Her own.
So she closed her eyes in prayer, and she prayed that all will be well in the end.
TBC.
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