Perfect, whole, direct.

Straight, full, simple.

No in-betweens. Completely with oneself, myself. My very own self.

How many people can’t be alone, to face what they are and who they have become?

To look into the mirror, and accept that this is them, no matter what, and love, love to the fullest what they are?

I’m learning. I’m slowly facing someone I was running away from for a very long time now.

The could-have-beens, all the pain and hurt and every tear streaming down my face, the haunting and the nightmares, the what if’s, the fears and phobias. They shouldn’t matter anymore. 

How far away you are, now. Yet my heart still aches like it was just yesterday. How long more will it take? How much will it still cost me? How could I allow myself, to fall all the way down here. Can you even reach me anymore?

How can I even see what’s in front? I’m in total darkness. Yet I still have to feel my way through all these. What did I do to deserve this.. I really don’t know. I’m reaching out, looking for something, anything, to hold on to.. but it’s all empty air around me now.