Fix myself, that's what I need to do.

But I'm still wrapped up in your everything, less engaged, but still here. 

You killed off most of my capacity for tolerance towards you in one fell swoop. 

I find myself untrusting, unbelieving, thinking wild, and angry, pissed that all these have happened.

Somehow, I have already forgotten the feeling of being head over heels for you.

It feels like it won't hurt that much to wrench myself away from you anymore.

I don't feel home beside you anymore, because you let someone else in, told me I'm not worthy, and spent more time with that someone. The times you looked for me, it has all changed.

Yet, I'm still in the same place. Shadowing, waiting. Reduced to ashes but still remembering the dance before the fire.

A routine.

Fix myself, can I? Time will do it. I don't know how.

I don't like it one bit, but I'm born. In this life, and life dictates my destiny.

It will hurt, still. And remembering all we did together, the things uttered to each other, the effort I put in, doubly hard for both of us when sometimes needed, all of them, I will remember all of them. 

Don't let it happen. Don't let all these end. But it has to. Someday, somehow.

I am sure of it.

And after it, I hope we find our way back together once again.

I hope we get to dance again.