It creeps on me, slowly, steadily.

Hiding behind me, sometimes glaring right at me from the mirror.

Attached to me, with invisible strings, every movement jolts it awake.

Following me around like a shadow, darkening to its most intense where the light is brightest.

My thoughts, appetite, hopes, strength and willpower, it gradually digs a wound into me, dripping them dry, consuming them with a every-increasing frenzy.

It wants to drive me out of my mind, steal my sight, tear out my soul.

The pain, behind my ribcage, indecipherable. Constant. Lumping in my throat, constricting my airways, sharp poison in my veins, dulling my brain, interrupting every thought, decision , action.

But a single occurrence chases it clean away.

I open my eyes. There is light..

And then the cycle starts anew.

I know now. Every time I forget to be kind, understanding or patient, life will put me back into place. 

That’s how beautiful it is. For me to learn and grow, till I finally learn balance, till I finally understand all the lessons I am supposed to learn.