I warned you, didn't I?

I told you, I was fire. You knew it too. You said I was different, a fighter. You were entranced.
And what I saw, was someone who would be there by me through everything. Whom I would do anything for.
You told me, you thought it through completely. You were ready for all that is to come. You had me in all your future plans. And so, I let myself fall into you.

Where are you now?

I told you, I would give the one I love, my all, didn't I? Did you see me trying to reach you?
And you thought you could give the same love in return.
Turned out, you couldn't, am I right?

What came between us? did you at least manage to figure out?
It was you, am I right?

And I'm finding myself in this ludicrous situation, battling with the ice cold in this landscape you led me to walk into, thinking you would be here shielding me from the winds. Yet I am here now, having to piece myself back together every day, being reminded every morning that I have someone I thought I'd never say goodbye to, completely erased from my life. Yet again.
Suddenly finding myself having to be brave and find strength, while I trudge on and try to find a way out. Yet again.
I had to re-convince myself every single day. Yet again.

It honestly isn't easy, you know?
To have good news, but suddenly losing the one I wish to run to break it to excitedly.
To miss you so, and to walk laughing with friends and family but having this dull ache inside eating me up every second. Gripping my heart, refusing to be gone. Reminding me that there is someone missing.
To want to know, what is your life like now, because I still care, I can't stop myself from caring.
To see your last seen, go from 2 minutes, to 5 hours, to 2,3,4 days, and then to almost a month and I know, you aren't coming back.

It hurts, to know that eventually, I would have to forget you, let go of you, and move on.
To know that in my future, you won't be here like you said you wanted to be. Like how we both wanted it to be.

And I know these painful lessons, maybe it will lead me to a better, happier ending. But for now, all I feel is still the warmth you gave that hasn't completely gone. Your visage still fresh in my mind. You have to forgive me for that. I can't erase anything or delete anything I want just like that. I really can't.

I told you, I was vulnerable.