I saw someone that looked like you today. I wonder, how you will be if you were still around.

How are your siblings now, I don’t know. Your heart must ache for them so. They call me still, very occasionally. Sometimes asking for their big sister. I can’t remember your voice much, only that very weak whisper in the last few weeks. How are your parents, I think they must be really struggling. How hard you worked, and then the world stole you away from them. 

I think of you very rarely now. But when I do, it sends a pang through my heart. I remember, how I am still breathing and laughing, free to run around and be anything I like. I remember, how even when you were around, you were so restricted. You could walk the soles of your shoes off and couldn’t bear to replace them. While I am out here now complaining about a broken heel and I can easily afford any pair I want. 

I see you sometimes. I see you in that mute/deaf young girl I saw, cleaning the toilet in the jb customs. When I asked her for directions, she smiled at me, pointed at her ears and mouth and shook her head. It was just half a second, but it will stay with me for very long.

I have forgotten. It’s so hard to keep remembering these things. There’s a ridiculous amount of stuff going on everyday. They bury the unspoken, quiet ripples of life with their loud, crashing waves. But when I remember, I always thank you. I thank you for showing me that I am very lucky, for teaching me how to be grateful. For fighting and believing in me. 

I need to treasure everyone, we all struggled to get here. And I do my best for reaching that tomorrow I want.

When I forget, I will remind myself that there was a girl, who was forced to leave too early, too cruelly. A girl who would’ve gladly done what I dread to do if she had the chance to.